Love is Everywhere

My boyfriend is a sigher. Or should I say, he used to be. He calls it stuffing, gently and/or harshly, he will stuff his emotions down. He will avoid the discomfort of confrontation, until it boils him away. He will smile as he is in pain. He will not ask for what he wants.

We had a talk a few weeks ago, about stuffing. Because this hiding of emotions left him in a constant state of passive aggressiveness one weekend. I didn’t know what the fuck was wrong with him. He is usually sweet and loving and encouraging. He is the best man I know. But, when he hides from the words he really wants to say, he gets irritated and agitated.


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This Me is Me.

Over the past two years, I am learning to be human again. I don’t fully understand addiction – the whys, the hows, the for what reasons? Is it a disease? Is it a choice? Does it stem from trauma? Is it genetic?  Why are some people addicted and others not?

There are masters studying this very thought. I don’t consider myself to be a master. I am just a student.

The only truth I know about addiction is that it is painful. The best truth I know about sobriety is that it is miraculous. Even in the ins and the outs – the hard parts and the sad days, even in the downright disastrous experiences of life – sobriety is miraculous.


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