What is so hard to understand? I wonder. Why doesn’t he fucking get it? I think silently, but don’t say out loud – because that sounds harsh and unforgiving and really just, bitter. But, truly, I am not bitter, no matter what it sounds like, this is actually incredibly compassionate, and even deeper, tender and loving. Because I want you to know the world I know.
The world that began the day I said no to everything that wanted to keep me stuck in a place of loneliness and fear and self-pity – and all-nighters full of pills and cocaine, and broken mirrors, and marathons of bad TV, and men who hurt me, and behaviors that didn’t suit me.